BNI How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...

Several years ago, in a career far far away, the sales director for the then Internet start up where I worked in my first marketing management gig bailed on her six figure salary to become a full-time, licensed massage therapist.

I thought she was nuts. Brave, inspiring, and confident, yes. But mostly completely insane.

She and I remained friends and I saw her business grow. I saw her match her income from her previous salary. I saw her flourish. I was baffled. I was at that time, in her early years of her second career, a steady client of hers. I asked her how she'd managed to match her income from massage. (Was this possible? Was she having me on and just living on credit cards and savings? Was she REALLY just inches away from declaring bankruptcy?)

She was the first person I'd ever heard say "You have to make sure that everyone you talk to becomes a referral for you. It's the only way that you can succeed if you're a small business owner." She also mentioned that she'd joined a professional networking group and that this group was responsible for referring her about 20-30% of her business on any given month. She told me that people got up while it was still dark outside, gathered together (presumably to consume huge amounts of coffee) to spend an hour talking about each other's businesses and specifically how they could bring business to each other.

The conversation planted a seed in my head, a seed called "if I ever go into business for myself, I'm going to have to join one of those."

Fast forward to what we'll call the present (which was really this past January). I'd been laid off since June, trying (unsuccessfully...okay, desperately) to find a high level marketing position in the web video space where I'd been working happily (very happily) for two years as a high level marketing executive. I was caught in the industry at an awkward time--where the fumes of exuberant Sand Hill investments were evaporating quickly and where the remaining companies were--smartly--waiting a year or two before making any new hiring decisions in my arena. I knocked on a lot of doors, to no avail. I think everyone's read about how this is the most punishing job market in the history of the known universe, since the dawn of time, since maybe since before the ice caps melted?

Time for a change.

And so, then, as they always do, an offer came that I knew I had to say "yes" to, the opportunity to work for myself (with an awesome partner) in the sustainable energy field (the fastest growing industry in the U.S., for you folks following along at home). Specifically as the VP in charge of all sales and business development for a solar energy developer.

And I leapt at the chance. Because moving from the online media space to sustainable energy is SUCH a logical leap.

Wait. No. No it isn't.

It's frighteningly different. They have almost nothing in common except that they all involve, on some level, people who do things. I had the punishing assignment of learning an entirely new lexicon, hiring new vendors, paving the way for new clients and new business, all while pretending like I have the remotest idea that I knew what I was talking about. I was quickly overwhelmed, sort of demoralized, exhausted and, to be completely frank, more than a little lonely.

My partner in this business mentioned that his buddy, Kim, had told him about one of those groups where people gather in the chilly corners of the morning to drink huge amounts of coffee and talk about their businesses. He said that he went to one meeting, loved it, and that if he weren't responsible for clothing and feeding his children before they went to school every day, he would have signed up then.

I thought of my friend, her flourishing massage business, how quickly she recouped her income. He said "Do you want to go?" and I said (I'm not kidding...this really is what I said) "Do you think we have a choice?"

I've been a BNI member for about a month. It is, without question, the smartest and best decision that I made since becoming my "own boss". I'm now one of those people who once a week gets up at an hour when I'd previously assumed only owls, garbage people and nurses were stirring, fumbles for the clothes that I can only hope I remembered to iron the night before, barrels down the nearly empty LA freeways for 40 minutes, and walks into a room full of the warmest, most supportive, helpful and excited people one could ever hope to have as a professional network.

Small business owners need referrals. We need them desperately. (And my BNI chapter members keep insisting on referring me business, which is kind of insanely awesome of them, really.)

But we need other things, too. We need a support system. We need vendors we can trust. We need vendors who know other vendors that they've used for years. We need them quickly. We need them one phone call away, because, good lord, we just don't have time to research a lawyer, a printer, a graphic designer and a drywall contractor on our own (all of which I got from BNI in one day, incidentally, through the awesome members in my chapter). We need welcoming faces, and reassuring smiles, welcoming handshakes and commiseration. We need social interaction, because we spend so much time at a desk alone. Oh, and, this past week, I needed a gift for my mother-in-law's 70th birthday, provided by Beth, our in house beauty expert, who put together the most gorgeous gift package that I couldn't have done with the time that I just don't have right now.

And, yes, at 7 a.m., we also need a lot of coffee. Or tea. We have both.